Hello Darkness, My Old Friend: Finding Balance in the Darker Months

It’s that time of year when we lose a little more sunlight each day. Soon, we’ll “fall back,” and dinner time will look more like bedtime. This seasonal shift always takes me back to grad school, where the music building was mostly subterranean. I’d descend into its bowels before sunrise and ascend back into pitch black at the end of the day. That first spring day when I finally exited into the light felt like a revelation—I almost cried tears of joy.

Around this time each year, I hear many people lament about the shortening days and the loss of light. Seasonal depression is real, and I’ve certainly felt the need for more light during the darker months as well. But something happened recently that made me rethink my relationship with darkness. On a full moon night, I departed from my usual morning routine to take a walk and admire the moon. I was struck by how much beauty I found in that walk—not just in the moonlight, but in the stars that accompanied it. There was a stillness, a calm that I hadn’t noticed before.

That experience made me wonder: Why are we so resistant to the dark? Why do we push so hard against it, when perhaps it holds something important for us?

The Light and the Dark: Finding Balance

Light represents clarity, visibility, and safety. In the light, everything is in view, and we feel a greater sense of control over our surroundings. It’s no wonder we crave it. Darkness, on the other hand, obscures our vision. We can’t see what’s around us, and that uncertainty can trigger fear. For many there’s a valid safety concern with being outside alone in the dark.

But without the dark, we can’t fully appreciate the light. Think about places like Alaska in the summer, where the sun barely sets. I imagine that constant light would be a challenge, just as too much darkness can weigh on us. Light and dark are part of nature’s cycle, and without both, we lose the balance that we need to thrive.

As we wrap up Libra season, represented by the scales, we’re reminded of this balance in nature and in our own lives. Libra calls us to find harmony, and light and dark are both necessary parts of that equation. So why do we resist the darkness so much?

The Beauty and Necessity of Darkness

Around this time of year, we start putting up holiday lights, scheduling gatherings, and packing our days with activities. There’s nothing wrong with creating warmth and joy in the darker months, but sometimes, it feels like we’re trying to outshine the darkness rather than embrace it.

We’ve forgotten that darkness is necessary for healing and understanding. Think about meditation—it’s often done with our eyes closed, focusing inward. When we close our eyes, we shift from being externally focused to checking in with what’s really going on inside. In the stillness of darkness, we can begin to understand our thought patterns, reflect on our experiences, and find clarity.

Rest is another form of healing that can only happen in darkness. Our bodies need sleep to restore, digest, and repair. Without the balance of rest, we risk burnout, stress, and anxiety. Darkness allows us to bring things to light—without it, we remain stuck in constant motion, unable to reflect, heal, or grow.

Embracing the Dark as a Source of Insight

Instead of resisting the darkness, what if we embraced it? The dark invites us to slow down, to rest, and to reflect. It calls us to go inward and ask ourselves deeper questions: What does the darkness allow me to do differently? What is it inviting me to reflect on?

For me, that moonlit walk was a reminder that beauty and peace exist in the dark. It’s not something to be feared or resisted—it’s an opportunity. Just as nature enters a resting period in the winter, we too can use this time to reflect, to rest, and to find balance. What would it look like if we allowed ourselves to mirror this natural cycle, instead of trying to outpace it?

Practical Ways to Embrace the Darkness

If the thought of darker days ahead fills you with dread, here are a few ways you can begin to shift your mindset and embrace this season of darkness:

1. Create Rituals for Reflection: Use the longer nights as an opportunity to introduce quiet, reflective practices. Whether it’s journaling by candlelight, meditating before bed, or taking a moonlit walk, create a ritual that allows you to check in with yourself regularly.

2. Embrace Rest: Give yourself permission to rest more during the darker months. This doesn’t just mean sleep, but also creating time for stillness—moments when you can simply be without the pressure of doing. As nature rests, let yourself rest too.

3. Appreciate the Beauty of Night: Instead of focusing on what’s lost with the daylight, shift your attention to what’s gained. Try going for a walk under the stars or watching the moonrise. There is a quiet beauty in the night that we often overlook.

4. Honor the Cycle of Light and Dark: Acknowledge that both light and dark are necessary for balance. Use this time to reflect on areas of your life that need balance. Where have you been overexerting yourself? Where do you need to bring more rest or reflection?

Conclusion: Darkness as a Path to Light

We live in a culture that often glorifies productivity and staying “on” all the time. But the truth is, without darkness—without rest, stillness, and reflection—we can’t truly appreciate or sustain the light. The seasons teach us this if we’re willing to listen.

So as we step into these darker months, I invite you to consider how you might embrace the darkness in your own life. What can it teach you? What hidden beauty might it reveal? Rather than resisting it, let it become a source of healing, insight, and balance. In doing so, you may find that the light you’ve been chasing was already within you, waiting to be discovered.